Takama-ga-hara Chapter 1

Why? Why did this have to be one of the first major releases of Alpha? With manga now officially available digitally, why does it feel like this is something dredged up from the dark recesses of a 1990s bargain bin? This is the kind of shlock that companies were trying to sell in the 90s in early 2000s just to get a bit of that sweet DBZ gold.

We got an economic bubble burst in the anime market because of that mentality. The market is still recovering from it.

Now, when I started typing out this review I originally considered making a drinking game out all the cliches this series does, but then I realized if people actually did said game, I'd probably be charged with war crimes for all the deaths I'd inadvertently cause.

With that said, lets begin. The first page contains a small prologue that starts with this:

So lets make the special mundane. That'll get readers interested, right? The rest of the page just talks about how everyone on Earth has a special power waiting to awaken inside them. Our narrator dude then breaks the fourth wall and asks what our special power (called Kamiwaza in the manga) is. You know what would be cool? Set up a conflict, tell us what's driving characters to use these powers, maybe give a vague reason why they have powers, or possibly hint at the plot. I mean, imagine if the central plot of the entire series was just shoved in right at the second to last chapters in a massive exposition moment?

Ha, like that would happen...  Anyone else hear that? 

Moving on, we then get the above cover page and I suddenly get a sense of dread. I want you to look at each character up there. Save for a few clones, almost every character has a unique look to them. Now, in a lot of chapter one cover pages the main cast is shown.

Toriko was the only one that didn't show the main characters or any characters at all, just food... which somehow makes more sense.

The issue is that in all of these covers, there's at most twelve characters on the page... and that number was from Bleach and well... book sales don't lie about how it's doing. Takama-ga-hara, meanwhile, easily has double that amount. To me, that means the author planned on making each one of these characters have some part in the plot. Guess how many do? One, just the main character and given the way the series ends... yeah, right from the get-go the author was spreading himself way too thin and not giving characters enough time to develop properly.

Our story proper begins with the narrator dramatically exclaiming that in Japan live five incredibly powerful brothers. The oldest one of which then proceeds to break the fourth wall again to talk to the narrator. 

The next page is them just yelling who they are, what grade in school they're in, and how awesome they are. Who the hell are they talking to? Each other? They're brothers, they already know this. Okay, we're gonna go back to story-telling basics: You show, you don't tell. That's even more true in a manga where you are specifically drawing out characters and actions. You don't need to instantly shove everything about the characters into our faces with clunky exposition. You can have them performing actions that show their personality and background. Unless of course, they're just there to be a shonen family because every shonen family is wacky like that, herp-a-derp-a-derp. 

Oh but look, one of these things is not like the other. Gee, I wonder if the guy not spouting exposition out the wazoo is our protagonist. I mean look how different he is: he's in a school uniform, writing, and calmly sitting down. See? Look how unique he is! Look dammit! Look!

This is Yamato, aka every shonen hero you've seen before. Now, you're probably wondering why he's at a table and acting like a regular human being. Well, it's because he wants to— gasp— draw manga! Why he even wants to conquer Shonen Jump... for some reason I'm getting this horrible nibbling sensation in the back of my brain, like there's something horribly wrong with this... eh, probably nothing.

Anyway, Yamato is basically lambasted for his attempts at manga and is instead adored or envied by everyone at his school simply because he's a Yamada brother.

Wow, he wants to make manga, yet he's coveted by all the sports teams too? This Yamato guy seems to  have everything in the world and things are going just fine for him. Why in a few days he's even going to visit that theme park everyone is talking about. I'm sure nothing can go wr—

Oh, sorry about that, there were just so many cliches going on that I accidentally slipped into a much better show.

Of course, being the god child (I really wish I was just joking) that he is, Yamato also has some people think that since he's such tough stuff taking him down will give them some cred. 

Um... what do you mean "what are they doing at our school?" A bunch of gang members don't just suddenly show up out of the blue (I'm speaking realistically of course, plot doesn't give a crap about that). Even given that Yamato's only been at the school for a month, that doesn't explain why these guys just suddenly showed up. It takes longer than a month just to form a gang. Is the manga saying these guys became a gang just because of Yamato?

No, because their— snicker— leader has this to say:

So this guy wants to just be strong because... he's the chapter one villain. Insert evil laughter here. This whole gang thing is just a mess. Yamato is clearly well known in the school, but the gang is just now like, "That the guy everyone thinks is the best at everything?" "The guy who Chuck Norris says is cool?" "Yeah that one." See how that doesn't exactly work?

Anyway, Yamato goes through the day, has some strange stuff happen to his arm (probably nothing), and has some forced bonding moments with his family. But being the first chapter, we have to get him his powers pronto and show him being cool. 

That's where bad guy up there comes in. No, I don't care what his name is. He's bad guy. Despite reappearing in later chapter he will not do jack outside of this one. Oh and just for good measure, that's how he normally looks, spiked teeth and all. He doesn't have any special powers, he just has spiked teeth. Why? Because... he's a bad guy... I'm serious. 

Anyway, he challenges Yamato to a fight and then makes the mistake every shonen villain makes: Insulting the protagonist's family/friends.

The accompanying picture to the dictionary definition of cliche

This is just the right impetus Yamato needs to awaken his epic power of... punching people really hard. Seriously, from what we're shown in the all of the manga, his power is just super-strength.

Anyway, the whole thing freaks him out and he decides to bandage up his arm like he was a cartoon character.

Why is he bandaging his arm up? Because he's worried if he damages it, he won't be able to make manga anymore. You know, for a guy who's literally been raised on shonen jump (he actually slept on them and was read them as lullabies... yes, I'm still serious) you think he'd notice the signs he was in a shonen manga... Hmm, actually the bandages make a little more sense now. 

Still, the author is saying a guy obsessed with manga wouldn't notice the cliche sighs whacking him in the face. You're the new kid, you're good at everything, you just somehow punched a guy over a building, and you're the unique one in a crazy family. Be self-aware! That would at least make things a little more interesting. You could be genre-savvy and use that to your advantage. I mean, think ho... you're just going to gawk at everything and say how cool it is, aren't you?

Ugh... okay, what's the point of saying in the FIRST DAMN CHAPTER that you want to make manga if it's never going to factor into your motivations? I'm dead serious, the reason he bothers fighting at all is to protect others. 

Ow! What the hell was that? Was that the Death Note choir?! It's like the a horrible force screamed out bullcrap... like it was warning me of some terrible moment to come.

Again, it's probably nothing. Back to discussing this manga thing. I still don't get it. A first chapter is incredibly important in establishing a character and his traits. If one of those traits is going to be swept under the rug in later chapters, what's the point? It's almost like the author gave Yamato this trait of wanting to dominate shonen jump because... because...

Oh crap

Yamato is a self-insert. No... just no. I'm wrong? Please tell me I'm wrong. Okay, okay, there's gotta be something in here that shows he's a unique character not constructed of cliches and the author's own desires.

...

You... you...

How I felt when I first figured this out

This was published in one of the most well known and longest running manga anthologies. This ran next to series that don't make millions, they sell millions. And this is just the first chapter. Oh boy people, we are in for a long one.

Greetings

Evening/Morning/Afternoon/ Midnight, everyone. I am your humble Blogger Fullmetal Pirate and if you somehow read this within 24 hours of it being posted without me giving you a link, thanks for checking this out, have a free internet cookie.

I've been thinking of doing doing a blog for a while now, but I've been busy with school and this life thing everyone not on the internet keeps talking about. But, that's neither here nor there. 

If you're still with me, you're probably wonder just what I plan to do here. For one, this isn't going to a blog about daily life and such. No, this is all on the tin: if you came here curious about manga you are in the right place.

It's time to review some manga! You know what's really great about modern manga now? We get to have a voice in it. What am I talking about? This. I really do love Shonen Jump Alpha and digital manga by extension. It's cheaper than print, I get it faster, and while I help Viz, I'm not directly supporting manga in the anthology that I dislike. Heck, I even get to rate and say which manga I think are bad, which is pretty much how the Japanese Shonen Jump ranks its manga as well (with less popular series occupying the back of the magazine until they get canceled).

So, with that said, if there's series in it you like go sign up for a subscription. A year round subscription is cheaper than most anime releases, heck it's cheaper than most Blu-Ray releases. Even if there's series you don't like, you can just ignore then and get the fast manga while supporting the industry.

Okay, we got my product placement out of the way? Then lets just establish a few bases about who I am. I've been an avid anime fan since a pretty young age, since I got to see a lot of Miyazaki films when I was little. My favorite long-running and over-all series is One Piece and while it is not a perfect series *cough* Sabo *cough* it does enough things right for me to see it as a good foil to some of the uh... ahem lesser series I'm going to go through. I'm not gonna bother saying what I love about the series right here otherwise we'll be here until our eyes are bleeding. Suffice it to say, I whole heartedly believe there's a reason it's been around for 15 years and its only at it's half-way point.

Pictured: Climax of my favorite arc in the series

As for favorite short run series: Madoka Magica. 

This is complexity and deconstruction done to nigh-perfect levels (moreso with the movies and their additional art) without become caught up in a tangled web of philosophy. The characters are explained just enough to give viewers ample room to analyze and discuss them and the plot is an amazing series of twist that gives no hints away to how the story will end and has you desperately begging for things to work out in the end... and even then you still question if they have.

Other stuff about me since you've been this patient. Well, aside from anime I generally like most stuff in Japan and find its culture fascinating (which'll make my first review so much fun). I've taken classes on both its history, religion, economy, and a bit of its language which helps give me a greater understanding of some of the stuff in manga that you might miss otherwise (still getting around to puns though. 

As any good anime fan, I like abridged series as well. My favorite is Hellsing Ultimate as it goes all out in terms of jokes (it's pretty much the South Park of abridged series). The quality just put into making it is astounding as is Teamfourstar's other stuff (yes DBZ abridged is good too, although the last two specials haven't been quite as funny IMPO). Also, just to verify level of awesome this series occupies, check out the third episode's opening and pay attention to Van Hellsing's voice:

You know, that sounds familiar, oh, I bet it's Lanipator, it kinda sounds like Piccolo or...

It's Chris Sabat. I am not kidding. It is insane, it is awesome. Placing all bets on Vic Mignogna showing up next!

That aside I'm also a fan of Adventure Time- how it stays a prime-time kids show I don't know given, you know, the nightmare fuel that is currently entering Digimon Tamer's level and beyond- and MLP. I think they're both fun shows that strike a great balance between adult and kid humor and are fun for a wide variety of ages. 

Introductory stuff out of the way? Good, lets talk about what I'll first be reviewing. Remember how I mentioned I like Japan in general? Well, turns out a lot of anime and manga draw strongly on Japanese myth and religion. Heck, the big manga like Naruto and Bleach have elements of Japanese folklore and religion as center plot points while One Piece and Toriko have references sprinkled throughout their stories. They've all incorporated these elements differently and to varying degrees of success. 

So what happens when you don't incorporate the myths and religion so much as shove it in the reader's face? Well, pile that on top of every shonen cliche you can imagine and you get...

Oh this is gonna be fun.