Seraph of the End Part 2: School Days

Time once again to delve into this supernatural (?) mess. Speaking of time, we get to jump ahead four years from where we left off. The setting is an abandoned Shibuya with a lone figure standing amidst the eerie streets. Two guesses who it is. Yes, it's Sasuke 2.0, but while he's haunted by the memories of his escape, he has a calm look to his face tha-

"I live for nothing but revenge against those bloodsuckers!"

Facepalms

Four years, people. This is what four years of training with a army designed to face supernatural threats has done for our... hero (I feel dirty saying that). To further drive the point home, Yuichiro disregards his fellow soldiers and slices a monster called one of the Four Horsemen of John like it was butter. Okay, one, what the heck is a "Four Horsemen of John"? Is it a type of vampire? I mean, we only get two panels of the thing and I can't even figure out where its mouth and eyes are. There's also that name. Yes, you're using biblical etymology, congrats, you like everyone else in the modern world know about the Bible. What does that do for your story? Certainly nothing for this scene because the horseman isn't brought up again in this chapter and thus, I don't care.

Second, wow Yuichiro, wow, your military training must have sucked for you to disobeyed orders multiple times. I'm sorry, but isn't boot camp meant to either beat that disobedience crap out of you or at least hone it into a useable skill in the battlefield? Disregarding that, any military with half a brain cell would know that people need to work together. Its why boot camp is a living hell, so you know who you can count on. Yet, despite training he'd have to have gone through to ya know, cut down hulking monstrosities, Yuichiro is still the brat he was last chapter, only know he doesn't even have the excuse of being a half-pint.

What was the point of skipping ahead four years if the main character wasn't going to change at all? Was 12 too young of an age to start slashing down goals? Who cares? Its a manga, you can get away with stuff like a kid hacking and slashing his way through monsters.

Moving on, at least someone in command realizes (a little too late) the Yuichiro is impeding things and takes him off duty. We then cut to... Shibuya High School #2. What? No, I must have read that wrong. A high school would be so ludicrous in this setting there's no way...

Reads a few more pages


Are you real?! I can't believe we're doing this. There are vampires and, if what the last chapter ended and whats we get later in this chapter are to be believed, demons running amok. Revelations is in fully gear and high school still exists?! What the hell could they teach that would have use now? Unless this manga has the gall to say that enough of human society exists to function on its previous level, taking the piss right out of the setting if so. This isn't even a specially designed school that also instructs people for the demon hunting army or whatever stupid name the smug guy from last chapter calls it. There are regular student here talking about stuff like going to clubs and getting fricking ice cream. If the effects of the virus are genuinely what was described in the first chapter, all these kids parents should be dead, unstoppable beasts are out for their blood, and, yeah, the Apocalypse happened! Jesus, do you see how freaked out the world gets when bird flu is brought up? How about SARS, remember that? Countries went into lockdown from that. Yet, we have a virus that very likely killed every head of state in the world and yet, eight years later, high school.

It's such an unneeded element in a story that already had plenty to work with. Hell, I generally believe a school is one of the worst places to host a shonen manga, because what's the point? Guess what, my ability to slice demons is gonna keep me alive longer than learning integers.

Okay, we need to move on before I have an aneurism. Yuichiro is his normal pouty self, mouthing off to everything around him until bland chick behind him tells him to knock it off. No, I'm not gonna remember her name because she's that dull. She spells it out for him that he has to make friends or he and the reader will be trapped in this ridiculous high scho- sorry, need to stay focused.

Before we can get to finding out what friendship is all about, we get a flashback to the end of last chapter. Smug plot convenience guy explains that aside from the virus something called the Horn of the Apocalypse has sounded, summoning various monsters.

Pause time. What kind of armageddon are we dealing with here? First, we had the virus that decimated humanity. Then, we had vampires rising up like molepeople and enslaving what, one section of Tokyo? Now we also have this horn which sounds like a whole other mess. So, are we dealing with a religious end time, a scientific one, or just whatever the author feels like throwing at us?

Who cares, time to make friends. No, not comrades in arms, just friends. Like pansy guy. No, I can't remember his name either. The fact that he looks similar to Yuichiro just broadens my delight at his introduction. So after stereotypical bullying, pansy admits he wants to join the demon army too, but... failed the application test.

Why? Why is there an application test? Why would you not want every able bodied person in your army. I don't care if pansy is weak, when you are fighting a supernatural war, you get whoever you can in damn boots. Hell, pansy is actually a greater asset than Yuichiro simply by merit of listening to others. Doesn't matter that they're bullies, pansy is still given an order to get drinks and he gets drinks... wait a minute. I know they can't use the actual brands, but he's clearly carrying pocari sweat, seven up, and Dr. Pepper. Man, I'm sure glad that when Hell spills over, I'll be able to cool off with a refreshing soda.

But it looks like no one will be getting carbonated goodness today as a vampire escapes from a nearby lab and attacks the school... in the middle of the day, I think. Um, shouldn't it be well done by now? Yes, it has an anti-UV arm bracelet that got mentioned once before, but why would you keep that on? Just keep the bloodsucker in the dark and use non-uv lights when studying it or whatever you were doing. I'm sure they'll have regular bulbs down at the supermarket. Ya know, the one cerberus used that one time as a fire hydrant.

Oh and look, a bunch of students are now in immense danger. It sure was a smart idea to congregate what has to account for a large percent of the population together. Seriously, might as well have hung a neon sign under the school's name: Shibuya High School # 2 Buffet Opens at Sundown.

So with a vampire close, Yuichiro sports himself a nice hate boner and gets his weapons. Time for another dull fight with speed line limbs. I gotta love how the vampire is still condescending about everything despite wanting to avoid the vampire hunters. What's hilarious about this whole battle is that it goes the exact same way as the last fight. Yuichiro can't do crap on his own and its only through pansy's interference that he doesn't get utterly annihilated.  Hell, he doesn't even land the finishing blow like last time.

Smug guy shows up and finishes the battle, all while pointing out that Yuichiro is an idiot. Yet, Yuichiro still says he can go toe to toe with vampires. Yeah, dude, you nearly got stabbed, would have lost had it not been for a complete wimp coming along, and you fell out fricking building, dislocating your shoulder. Again, you didn't even finish the fight and would have died had it not been for deus ex machine. Yeah, you're a real asset.

I at least get a line that pretty much sums up the chapter: "I have brats who don't know what teamwork means."

Oh thank everything holy, the chapter's almost over. Yuichiro wakes up in the hospital with bland girl and pansy at his side. So, apparently carrying some soda and acting like a jerk to pansy constitute him as a friend to bland girl. Bonus, bland girls is now a friend too. Hoo-fricking-ray.

Not that that changes anything. Yuichiro is still a one note bumbling mess of a character, so singleminded in his revenge that his survival over the past four years astounds me. He's arrogant, annoying, and unlikable. This could have easily been resolved by just letting someone else survive among the orphans, that at least would create a duality between protecting a loved one and pursuing vengeance. But no, revenge and only revenge.

So, that is Seraph so far. No, I'm only reading it as its officially released. However, I am open for other manga to read and review. Until then, see ya'll next time.

Back... with Seraph of the End

Okay, so I've kinda let the blog just sit around forever, but I just haven't read anything that truly annoyed me... until two weeks ago. Now, I really do like Shonen Jump. It's cheap for a year's worth of manga, plus you get a permanent collection of all the issues you've bought, but American readers are now also slightly more subject to the so-so and bad manga that occasionally dot the magazine.

See, in the printed days of Shonen Jump in the states, we pretty much got the cream of the crop: the big three of Bleach, Naruto, and One Piece and various manga that may have finished publication over a decade ago (hi DBZ and Yu-Yu Hakusho). At the time this was an very smart business move because, again, printed, which means it costs more. Even with the Viz going digital, it still takes a good amount of popularity for something to get a printed version (ex. Cross Manage).

But now things are different. The Western audience has access to the official magazine and thus factors into what passes and what doesn't, at least that's my understanding of it. Hopefully, we helped contribute to things like getting rid of Takamagahara and keeping stories like Cross Manage. How Yu-Gi-Oh Zexeal or whatever it's called stays around is beyond me.

Which brings us to today's fine little gem: Seraph of the End. Our story begins with a nice little blurb about how an unknown virus has decimated humanity and vampires have emerged to take over the world (of course!)

We then cut to said vampire's city, where we have two humans with one... reading a book on how to kill vampires. Um, why would vampires allow such a book to be readily available. Yeah, in the hands of a kid, the information is about as useful as the glaive would be in real life, but give that to an organized group bent on eradicating supernatural beings and you'd be pretty screwed. Bonus points for the book being an actual hardcover published tome and not just the writings of some crazy guy.

The kid reading the book is Yuichiro and the blond haired... boy? Geez, we're already hitting the bishonen line and not a single bloodsucker in sight yet. Anyone the other "boy" barely putting up with Yuichiro is Mikaela (oh come on).

Following a nice little blood "donation," the two go out and Yuichiro complains about vampires (get used to this folks). Mikaela, showing he has a brain, points out that maybe reading books about killing vampires and yelling about it, isn't the brightest idea in the middle of the damn vampire city. Well, Yuichiro seems pretty one note and annoying, so I'm gonna place bets that Mikaela is gonna be our protagonist while Yuichiro is confined to comedic relief. Ah, Captain Hindsight would be proud.

Oh wait, we've got our first non-mook vampire. Let's see, incredibly fancy clothes, long blond hair, effeminate enough to make me think he has a-cup angst... yep, we're going down the Twilight path here people, prepare for some dull fights. And again, Mikaela has enough sense to ya know, get on the monster's good side and get access to things like a map, a weapon, and... proper food? Wait wait, you're saying that humans in this city only get scraps? Okay, nitpick here, but that's stupid. If you're treating humans like livestock, wouldn't you want to get the maximum amount of nourishment out of them? Even without killing them (thankfully they're not that stupid), draining blood at regular intervals has an adverse effect on humans. Its why you get a cookie and some OJ after giving blood, it helps recuperate your body. Giving humans only scraps means that a. they can't produce as much blood b. they're far weaker and more likely to succumb to disease and die, detracting from your pool of food. That whole decimation thing isn't helping your either. This is pretty much the equivalent of not giving your crops enough water when a famine has run rampant.

But enough on agriculture, It's time for a flashback... from Yuichiro. Oh, no. We learn that Yuichiro first met Mikaela at an orphanage on Christmas, because why not. To our joy, we learn that Yuichiro was even before all hell broke loose, saying he doesn't need a family because his dad tried to kill him and his mom committed suicide after ranting he was demons spawn (sure that won't come back). It really is so refreshing to be told all this rather than shown it. I feel really connected to Yuichiro now.

Thankfully Mikaela is having none of this and swiftly introduces Yuichiro to the floor (again, really liking this character). Of course, then with a smile, he says how his parents abused him... followed by the rest of the orphans happily going on about how they've been abandoned, they're parents killed themselves, or they just never met them... I should note that Yuichiro and Mikaela are the oldest here at eight years old.

What sort of children talk this way (insert Mirai Nikki joke here)? At that age could you even comprehend abuse? Even if you could, I find no way you could ever smile about it or even loudly admit it. See, those sorts of things cause trauma and that is generally damaging to a young psyche and and does not prompt happiness. Eh, whatever dogpile Yuichiro, at least it'll shut him up.

Naturally, such bizarre enjoyment must come to an end in the most logical way possible: the apocalypse , complete with vampires in fricking helicopters announcing that humanity has royally screwed itself with the super virus. Gee, that's awfully convenient that it struck at night and you had this whole "parade though the carnage with helicopters" thing ready to go. I'd have loved to see the planning committee on this.

Ugh, can we just get on with this? Okay, back to the present, Mikaela shows orphans the stuff he's swiped, again proving that he's a much more competent hero than Yuichiro. Running through the corridors to escape they find they're path blocked by effeminate vampire. It's at this point with all the grand pillars and stairways, all in pristine condition, that I have to pause and wonder just how humanity missed these guys for so long. In Japan no less. You'd think that whole "deep need for arable land" would let someone stumble upon this incredibly vast and complex underground city. Eh, who cares, its time to go George R.R. Martin on the orphans. No! I was so attached to orphan b and e!

Mikaela faces off against the vampire with no other choice and you can guess how well that goes. Well, not really that gruesome since limbs and heads turn into speed lines when forcefully removed in this world. Heck, I didn't even notice at first that Mikaela got an arm torn off. But unfortunately Mr. Crepsly here forgot about that whole "there's two of them" thing and promptly gets a bullet to the head. Hey, genius, maybe Yuichiro would have ineffectively tried your heart if you didn't let him read that stupid book.

So with his last dying words (damn, damn, damn) Mikaela spurs Yuichiro away and into the world above... which is now sporting a nice shooting location for Life After People. What a twist, the vampires lied to you about that incredibly well-timed virus.

Speaking of well-timed, a trio of people in military attires shows up, having come there on a prophecy. What are the odds? Better, they get offer Yuichiro the chance to join them and kill some vampires. Naturally, he's just jumping at the opportunity to ride the revenge wagon.

Ugh. Revenge may be a dish best served cold, but it better have some accompaniments. Seeking retribution is a good motivation for a character, but they need other aspects to flesh them out. A character simply can't organically fit into a world if they just go on and on about getting revenge for fallen comrades or family. Hell, even Sasuke, the poster boy of "my family is dead so the world is dead to me too and everything else sucks" had interactions with characters that defined his personality... at least until part two where he went completely off his rocker. All Yuichiro has done is bemoan his current situation and get mad because of it. No, I'm not counting the one scene where he holds another orphan's hand because it is never followed up on. He always has his teeth grit and his eyes sharp. Mikaela was showing expressing fear, happiness, and sorrow. Its what draws readers to him rather than Yuichiro, who, for all his whining, reacts to events rather than start them. Both characters get the same call to action, but its Mikaela that actually manages to do something. Yuichiro just tags along and, much to my ire, is the one who survives the whole mess.

Sigh, I think this is enough for chapter 1. Stayed tuned for chapter 2: Schools and the Apocalypse don't mix.

Takama-ga-hara Chapter 1

Why? Why did this have to be one of the first major releases of Alpha? With manga now officially available digitally, why does it feel like this is something dredged up from the dark recesses of a 1990s bargain bin? This is the kind of shlock that companies were trying to sell in the 90s in early 2000s just to get a bit of that sweet DBZ gold.

We got an economic bubble burst in the anime market because of that mentality. The market is still recovering from it.

Now, when I started typing out this review I originally considered making a drinking game out all the cliches this series does, but then I realized if people actually did said game, I'd probably be charged with war crimes for all the deaths I'd inadvertently cause.

With that said, lets begin. The first page contains a small prologue that starts with this:

So lets make the special mundane. That'll get readers interested, right? The rest of the page just talks about how everyone on Earth has a special power waiting to awaken inside them. Our narrator dude then breaks the fourth wall and asks what our special power (called Kamiwaza in the manga) is. You know what would be cool? Set up a conflict, tell us what's driving characters to use these powers, maybe give a vague reason why they have powers, or possibly hint at the plot. I mean, imagine if the central plot of the entire series was just shoved in right at the second to last chapters in a massive exposition moment?

Ha, like that would happen...  Anyone else hear that? 

Moving on, we then get the above cover page and I suddenly get a sense of dread. I want you to look at each character up there. Save for a few clones, almost every character has a unique look to them. Now, in a lot of chapter one cover pages the main cast is shown.

Toriko was the only one that didn't show the main characters or any characters at all, just food... which somehow makes more sense.

The issue is that in all of these covers, there's at most twelve characters on the page... and that number was from Bleach and well... book sales don't lie about how it's doing. Takama-ga-hara, meanwhile, easily has double that amount. To me, that means the author planned on making each one of these characters have some part in the plot. Guess how many do? One, just the main character and given the way the series ends... yeah, right from the get-go the author was spreading himself way too thin and not giving characters enough time to develop properly.

Our story proper begins with the narrator dramatically exclaiming that in Japan live five incredibly powerful brothers. The oldest one of which then proceeds to break the fourth wall again to talk to the narrator. 

The next page is them just yelling who they are, what grade in school they're in, and how awesome they are. Who the hell are they talking to? Each other? They're brothers, they already know this. Okay, we're gonna go back to story-telling basics: You show, you don't tell. That's even more true in a manga where you are specifically drawing out characters and actions. You don't need to instantly shove everything about the characters into our faces with clunky exposition. You can have them performing actions that show their personality and background. Unless of course, they're just there to be a shonen family because every shonen family is wacky like that, herp-a-derp-a-derp. 

Oh but look, one of these things is not like the other. Gee, I wonder if the guy not spouting exposition out the wazoo is our protagonist. I mean look how different he is: he's in a school uniform, writing, and calmly sitting down. See? Look how unique he is! Look dammit! Look!

This is Yamato, aka every shonen hero you've seen before. Now, you're probably wondering why he's at a table and acting like a regular human being. Well, it's because he wants to— gasp— draw manga! Why he even wants to conquer Shonen Jump... for some reason I'm getting this horrible nibbling sensation in the back of my brain, like there's something horribly wrong with this... eh, probably nothing.

Anyway, Yamato is basically lambasted for his attempts at manga and is instead adored or envied by everyone at his school simply because he's a Yamada brother.

Wow, he wants to make manga, yet he's coveted by all the sports teams too? This Yamato guy seems to  have everything in the world and things are going just fine for him. Why in a few days he's even going to visit that theme park everyone is talking about. I'm sure nothing can go wr—

Oh, sorry about that, there were just so many cliches going on that I accidentally slipped into a much better show.

Of course, being the god child (I really wish I was just joking) that he is, Yamato also has some people think that since he's such tough stuff taking him down will give them some cred. 

Um... what do you mean "what are they doing at our school?" A bunch of gang members don't just suddenly show up out of the blue (I'm speaking realistically of course, plot doesn't give a crap about that). Even given that Yamato's only been at the school for a month, that doesn't explain why these guys just suddenly showed up. It takes longer than a month just to form a gang. Is the manga saying these guys became a gang just because of Yamato?

No, because their— snicker— leader has this to say:

So this guy wants to just be strong because... he's the chapter one villain. Insert evil laughter here. This whole gang thing is just a mess. Yamato is clearly well known in the school, but the gang is just now like, "That the guy everyone thinks is the best at everything?" "The guy who Chuck Norris says is cool?" "Yeah that one." See how that doesn't exactly work?

Anyway, Yamato goes through the day, has some strange stuff happen to his arm (probably nothing), and has some forced bonding moments with his family. But being the first chapter, we have to get him his powers pronto and show him being cool. 

That's where bad guy up there comes in. No, I don't care what his name is. He's bad guy. Despite reappearing in later chapter he will not do jack outside of this one. Oh and just for good measure, that's how he normally looks, spiked teeth and all. He doesn't have any special powers, he just has spiked teeth. Why? Because... he's a bad guy... I'm serious. 

Anyway, he challenges Yamato to a fight and then makes the mistake every shonen villain makes: Insulting the protagonist's family/friends.

The accompanying picture to the dictionary definition of cliche

This is just the right impetus Yamato needs to awaken his epic power of... punching people really hard. Seriously, from what we're shown in the all of the manga, his power is just super-strength.

Anyway, the whole thing freaks him out and he decides to bandage up his arm like he was a cartoon character.

Why is he bandaging his arm up? Because he's worried if he damages it, he won't be able to make manga anymore. You know, for a guy who's literally been raised on shonen jump (he actually slept on them and was read them as lullabies... yes, I'm still serious) you think he'd notice the signs he was in a shonen manga... Hmm, actually the bandages make a little more sense now. 

Still, the author is saying a guy obsessed with manga wouldn't notice the cliche sighs whacking him in the face. You're the new kid, you're good at everything, you just somehow punched a guy over a building, and you're the unique one in a crazy family. Be self-aware! That would at least make things a little more interesting. You could be genre-savvy and use that to your advantage. I mean, think ho... you're just going to gawk at everything and say how cool it is, aren't you?

Ugh... okay, what's the point of saying in the FIRST DAMN CHAPTER that you want to make manga if it's never going to factor into your motivations? I'm dead serious, the reason he bothers fighting at all is to protect others. 

Ow! What the hell was that? Was that the Death Note choir?! It's like the a horrible force screamed out bullcrap... like it was warning me of some terrible moment to come.

Again, it's probably nothing. Back to discussing this manga thing. I still don't get it. A first chapter is incredibly important in establishing a character and his traits. If one of those traits is going to be swept under the rug in later chapters, what's the point? It's almost like the author gave Yamato this trait of wanting to dominate shonen jump because... because...

Oh crap

Yamato is a self-insert. No... just no. I'm wrong? Please tell me I'm wrong. Okay, okay, there's gotta be something in here that shows he's a unique character not constructed of cliches and the author's own desires.

...

You... you...

How I felt when I first figured this out

This was published in one of the most well known and longest running manga anthologies. This ran next to series that don't make millions, they sell millions. And this is just the first chapter. Oh boy people, we are in for a long one.

Greetings

Evening/Morning/Afternoon/ Midnight, everyone. I am your humble Blogger Fullmetal Pirate and if you somehow read this within 24 hours of it being posted without me giving you a link, thanks for checking this out, have a free internet cookie.

I've been thinking of doing doing a blog for a while now, but I've been busy with school and this life thing everyone not on the internet keeps talking about. But, that's neither here nor there. 

If you're still with me, you're probably wonder just what I plan to do here. For one, this isn't going to a blog about daily life and such. No, this is all on the tin: if you came here curious about manga you are in the right place.

It's time to review some manga! You know what's really great about modern manga now? We get to have a voice in it. What am I talking about? This. I really do love Shonen Jump Alpha and digital manga by extension. It's cheaper than print, I get it faster, and while I help Viz, I'm not directly supporting manga in the anthology that I dislike. Heck, I even get to rate and say which manga I think are bad, which is pretty much how the Japanese Shonen Jump ranks its manga as well (with less popular series occupying the back of the magazine until they get canceled).

So, with that said, if there's series in it you like go sign up for a subscription. A year round subscription is cheaper than most anime releases, heck it's cheaper than most Blu-Ray releases. Even if there's series you don't like, you can just ignore then and get the fast manga while supporting the industry.

Okay, we got my product placement out of the way? Then lets just establish a few bases about who I am. I've been an avid anime fan since a pretty young age, since I got to see a lot of Miyazaki films when I was little. My favorite long-running and over-all series is One Piece and while it is not a perfect series *cough* Sabo *cough* it does enough things right for me to see it as a good foil to some of the uh... ahem lesser series I'm going to go through. I'm not gonna bother saying what I love about the series right here otherwise we'll be here until our eyes are bleeding. Suffice it to say, I whole heartedly believe there's a reason it's been around for 15 years and its only at it's half-way point.

Pictured: Climax of my favorite arc in the series

As for favorite short run series: Madoka Magica. 

This is complexity and deconstruction done to nigh-perfect levels (moreso with the movies and their additional art) without become caught up in a tangled web of philosophy. The characters are explained just enough to give viewers ample room to analyze and discuss them and the plot is an amazing series of twist that gives no hints away to how the story will end and has you desperately begging for things to work out in the end... and even then you still question if they have.

Other stuff about me since you've been this patient. Well, aside from anime I generally like most stuff in Japan and find its culture fascinating (which'll make my first review so much fun). I've taken classes on both its history, religion, economy, and a bit of its language which helps give me a greater understanding of some of the stuff in manga that you might miss otherwise (still getting around to puns though. 

As any good anime fan, I like abridged series as well. My favorite is Hellsing Ultimate as it goes all out in terms of jokes (it's pretty much the South Park of abridged series). The quality just put into making it is astounding as is Teamfourstar's other stuff (yes DBZ abridged is good too, although the last two specials haven't been quite as funny IMPO). Also, just to verify level of awesome this series occupies, check out the third episode's opening and pay attention to Van Hellsing's voice:

You know, that sounds familiar, oh, I bet it's Lanipator, it kinda sounds like Piccolo or...

It's Chris Sabat. I am not kidding. It is insane, it is awesome. Placing all bets on Vic Mignogna showing up next!

That aside I'm also a fan of Adventure Time- how it stays a prime-time kids show I don't know given, you know, the nightmare fuel that is currently entering Digimon Tamer's level and beyond- and MLP. I think they're both fun shows that strike a great balance between adult and kid humor and are fun for a wide variety of ages. 

Introductory stuff out of the way? Good, lets talk about what I'll first be reviewing. Remember how I mentioned I like Japan in general? Well, turns out a lot of anime and manga draw strongly on Japanese myth and religion. Heck, the big manga like Naruto and Bleach have elements of Japanese folklore and religion as center plot points while One Piece and Toriko have references sprinkled throughout their stories. They've all incorporated these elements differently and to varying degrees of success. 

So what happens when you don't incorporate the myths and religion so much as shove it in the reader's face? Well, pile that on top of every shonen cliche you can imagine and you get...

Oh this is gonna be fun.